No More Patience

The day after I found out I was pregnant with Jeremiah, we made the decision not to find out his gender during our pregnancy. I left the decision up to Louis, and was completely, 100 percent okay with it. Yes I was curious about his gender, but there was no moment that I can remember where I regretted the decision or became excruciatingly impatient for him to be born simply so we could see what we were having. (Our family and friends were another story- I think the waiting was harder on them!) Deep down in my gut I knew he was a boy, anyway, so it was absolutely no surprise to me when he was born, I asked the doctor what he was (because I was concentrating so hard on pushing that I didn't hear the announcement!) and was told "It's a boy!".

We were debating on whether or not to find out the gender this time around, because it was fun having the mystery throughout the pregnancy, but pretty much decided that the suspense is only fun one time around. I was excited at the prospect of finding out the gender of this baby, and pretty much figured that a 16-20 week wait would fly compared to the 41 1/2 week wait I had to find out Jeremiah's gender. Oh was I wrong!

I got myself all geared up earlier this month for finding out the gender on August 31st. This month has dragged by. And now that August 31st is just 5 days away, and I cancelled that appointment at the suggestion of my nurse practitioner, I"m kicking myself. Several times a day. I even went so far as to call up the office yesterday to see if I could reschedule, but all the ultrasounds in our office our booked through September 14th, which is roughly 2 weeks before when my 20 week ultrasound will be. I'm going nuts. I NEED to find out what I'm having right now!! Maybe I"m just going crazy since my cousin Tiffany finds out what she's having on Friday. Maybe it's because I saw the cutest little girl clothes at Wal-Mart last week and I"m dying to buy something personal for my baby (okay, preferably something pink and frilly versus blue and sporty!) . I thought I was okay with the possibility of this baby, our second and last child being a boy, but I was wrong. I want a little girl SO badly. Someone to bake cookies with. Someone to buy dresses for, play dolls with, and curl her hair. Someone to watch all of my favorite Disney movies with (because, face it, Jeremiah probably won't be into The Little Mermaid and Cinderella). I know deep down that if this baby is truly a boy that I will love him and I won't care one way or another, but since I don't know what I'm having yet, I can still hold out hope that I'll get my little girl- and if it's a boy, well I'm going to do everything in my power to convince Louis in 2 or 3 years to give it one last shot! (No matter what I want to be done after 3 kids).

I think tomorrow I"m going to be scheduling a 3d ultrasound somewhere......